what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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