if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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