it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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