Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm like, not good at living.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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