took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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