I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
