I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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