Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
