i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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