Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize