So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
