marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
