the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
