i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
