i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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