So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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