never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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