I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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