I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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