Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
