I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
