party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
