But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
