She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
soo... how was my night?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
