Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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