WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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