We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
