i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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