So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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