HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
