similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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