my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
