I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
