He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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