How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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