hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drunk is a universal language darling
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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