you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
