Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
