Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
