I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
