well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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