Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
