Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
