Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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