He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
