This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
