I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
