I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
