her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
