no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
