I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
try to milk me bitch
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