Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
