I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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