I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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