found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
