booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
