i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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