Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So vagazzling was a success
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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