thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
